We are almost through the first month of 2023- are you still thinking about New’s Year Resolutions? If you have been struggling with the pressure to make or keep a New Year’s Resolution, or feeling disappointed that you’ve haven’t been successful, then you probably know that it can be easy to be hard on yourself this time of year about all the things you feel you’re doing wrong and how you need to improve. While working on your plans for the new year, keep these reminders in mind.
You Are Good Enough Just the Way You Are
It may sound counterintuitive, but if you aren’t happy with yourself as you are now, you won’t be happy with yourself once you achieve your goals. It’s not productive to “punish” yourself into changing things you may not like about yourself. Self-love is the foundation for change.
You Don’t Have to Be Perfect
Sometimes perfectionism might be a barrier to getting started on your goals. However, failing at a task can be a learning experience and an opportunity for growth, so don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Some of the most successful people in history didn’t succeed on their first try; they persevered and ultimately came out ahead. Follow in their footsteps!
It’s Okay to Go Slow and Be Gentle with Yourself
While setting goals for yourself, remember to practice self-compassion. Change is difficult and time-consuming; it’s about the journey and not the destination. Expect that there might be ups and downs along the road, and give yourself grace to pick yourself up and keep trying.
You Don’t Have to Do Enough to Be Enough
In our highly competitive and capitalistic culture, being “busy” is seen as a marker of success. However, following this ideal of success (where doing more = being more valuable) can all too often lead to burnout. You are human, and you have inherent worth outside of your productivity. Taking time to rest and reflect is absolutely essential for self-care; it isn’t lazy.
Sometimes goals fail because they are too ambitious or too vague. Follow the “SMART” goal method for better odds of success:
S- Specific (make your goal as precise and clear as possible)
M- Measurable (create metrics to track progress)
A- Achievable (make your goal challenging but reasonable)
R- Relevant (understand why this goal is important to you)
T- Time-bound (set deadlines for your targets)